Divorce is a challenging life event for both adults and children. While parents may struggle with the emotional, logistical, and financial complexities of separation, children face their own unique challenges as they process the changes in their family dynamics. For many children, the experience of divorce can lead to confusion, sadness, anger, and even anxiety. Fortunately, Dr. Karen Hawk, a psychologist based in Gilbert, provides compassionate and effective strategies to help children cope with divorce. Through her expertise, Dr. Hawk offers guidance to both parents and children, fostering resilience and emotional healing during this difficult transition.

Understanding the Emotional Impact of Divorce on Children

Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert Divorce can be an overwhelming experience for children, regardless of their age. According to Dr. Karen Hawk, children may feel a sense of loss, betrayal, or insecurity when their parents separate. Younger children may have difficulty understanding the reasons behind the divorce, leading to feelings of confusion and anxiety. Older children and teenagers may feel a sense of shame or anger, as they often try to make sense of their parents’ decision while also dealing with their own personal struggles.

Dr. Hawk emphasizes that the emotional impact of divorce can manifest in a variety of ways, including changes in behavior, difficulty concentrating at school, or a withdrawal from friends and family. Some children may act out or regress in certain behaviors, such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking, while others may become quiet and withdrawn. It’s important for parents to recognize that these behaviors are normal responses to an abnormal situation, and with the right support, children can learn to cope with their emotions and adjust to the changes.

Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment

One of the most important things parents can do to help their children cope with divorce is to create a safe, supportive, and predictable environment. Dr. Karen Hawk advises parents to maintain routines as much as possible, as stability can help children feel more secure during a time of uncertainty. Keeping regular meal times, bedtimes, and extracurricular activities in place can offer children a sense of normalcy, reducing feelings of chaos or unpredictability.

In addition to maintaining routines, Dr. Hawk encourages parents to provide emotional reassurance. Children need to feel that they are loved and supported, regardless of the changes happening in the family. Parents should make it clear that the divorce is not the child’s fault and that both parents will continue to be there for them, even if they no longer live together. Open, honest communication is key to helping children feel emotionally safe during this transition.

Encouraging Open Communication

Open communication is crucial when helping children cope with divorce. Dr. Karen Hawk recommends that parents create opportunities for children to express their feelings and thoughts about the divorce. Encouraging children to talk about their emotions, even if they are upset or confused, allows them to process their feelings in a healthy way. Dr. Hawk also suggests that parents model healthy communication by being calm, respectful, and attentive when discussing the divorce.

It is important for parents to listen to their children’s concerns without judgment or defensiveness. Children may have questions about the divorce that they don’t feel comfortable asking, such as worries about where they will live or how they will manage the changes in their relationships with both parents. Dr. Hawk advises parents to be patient, answer questions honestly, and provide age-appropriate information. Even if parents don’t have all the answers, showing that they are willing to listen and discuss these concerns openly can go a long way in helping children feel heard and understood.

Avoiding Negative Talk About the Other Parent

One of the most damaging things parents can do during a divorce is to speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child. Dr. Karen Hawk stresses the importance of keeping negative emotions or conflicts between parents separate from the child. Children often feel torn between their parents and may internalize feelings of guilt or responsibility for the conflict. Dr. Hawk recommends that parents refrain from blaming each other for the divorce and instead focus on working together to co-parent in a supportive and respectful manner.

By avoiding negative talk, parents create an atmosphere of trust and cooperation. Children are more likely to feel secure and less anxious about the changes in their family when they are not exposed to conflict or hostility. Dr. Hawk encourages parents to remember that they are modeling behavior for their children, and treating each other with respect and civility — even in the midst of a difficult divorce — helps children learn valuable lessons about handling conflict in a healthy way.

Therapy and Counseling for Children

In some cases, children may benefit from therapy or counseling to help them process their emotions and navigate the complexities of divorce. Dr. Karen Hawk specializes in child and family therapy and works closely with children to provide a safe space where they can express their feelings and develop coping strategies. Therapy can be especially helpful for children who are struggling with intense emotions, behavioral issues, or difficulties adjusting to the changes in their family structure.

Through therapy, Dr. Hawk helps children understand their feelings and provides them with tools to manage their emotions. She may also work with children to improve their problem-solving skills and build resilience. Therapy can also be an opportunity for children to explore how they perceive the divorce and address any misconceptions or anxieties they may have.

Promoting Healthy Coping Skills

Dr. Karen Hawk emphasizes the importance of teaching children healthy coping skills to help them manage the stress and emotions that come with divorce. Coping skills such as mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and engaging in physical activities can help children process their feelings in a constructive way. Dr. Hawk works with children and their families to identify coping strategies that resonate with each child’s unique needs and preferences.

For example, younger children may benefit from creative outlets such as drawing or journaling, while older children and teens might find comfort in writing, talking to friends, or engaging in hobbies that help them relax. Dr. Hawk encourages parents to support their children in developing these coping skills and to model healthy ways of dealing with stress.

Maintaining Consistent Parenting Practices

Divorce can lead to differences in parenting styles, especially if one parent moves to a new home or begins a new relationship. Dr. Karen Hawk advises parents to maintain consistency in parenting practices as much as possible. Consistent expectations around behavior, discipline, and responsibilities help children feel secure and understand what is expected of them, regardless of the household they are in.

While co-parenting can be challenging, Dr. Hawk encourages parents to remain flexible and work together to create a cooperative environment that prioritizes the child’s emotional well-being. This may require regular communication and compromise between parents, but it ultimately benefits the child by providing them with stability and a sense of continuity.

Reassuring Children About Their Future

One of the most common concerns children have during a divorce is about their future. They may worry about how their relationships with both parents will change, whether they will be able to maintain contact with extended family members, or what the future will look like. Dr. Karen Hawk advises parents to reassure their children that they will still be an integral part of both parents’ lives and that they will continue to receive love and support.

Providing children with an understanding of the logistics of their new family life — such as visitation schedules and changes in living arrangements — can also help reduce anxiety and confusion. Dr. Hawk recommends that parents emphasize the positive aspects of the transition, such as the opportunity for both parents to be more present in the child’s life in different ways.

Conclusion: Helping Children Heal from Divorce

Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most difficult transitions a family can go through, but with the right strategies and support, children can not only cope with the changes but also emerge stronger and more resilient. Dr. Karen Hawk’s compassionate approach to helping children navigate the emotional challenges of divorce emphasizes the importance of stability, open communication, healthy coping skills, and professional support. By prioritizing the child’s emotional needs and fostering an environment of love, respect, and understanding, parents can guide their children through this difficult time and set them on the path toward healing and emotional well-being. Dr. Hawk’s expertise and guidance help families heal together, creating a foundation for a brighter, more secure future after divorce.