Separation anxiety is a common issue that many children experience, especially when faced with new environments or changes in routine. Whether it’s the first day of school, a visit to a relative’s house, or even a parent leaving for work, separation anxiety can be challenging for both children and their parents. The fear and distress that children feel when separated from their caregivers can be overwhelming, but with the right support and strategies, it is possible to ease these fears and help children feel more secure and confident. Karen Hawk Gilbert, a psychologist based in Gilbert, offers expert advice for parents dealing with separation anxiety in children. Her compassionate approach helps families navigate this challenging phase with empathy and practical solutions.

Understanding Separation Anxiety in Children

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development in young children, especially between the ages of 6 months and 3 years. However, some children may experience this anxiety later in life, especially when they encounter new situations or transitions. Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert explains that separation anxiety is a natural response to the child’s attachment to their caregiver, and it reflects a deep need for emotional security.

While it is common for children to feel some distress when separated from their caregivers, persistent or intense separation anxiety can interfere with their daily lives. Dr. Hawk helps parents understand the underlying causes of their child’s anxiety, whether it’s a major life change (like a divorce or move), starting school, or even a traumatic event. Understanding the root cause of the anxiety is crucial for providing the right support.

Normalizing Emotions and Offering Reassurance

One of the first steps in addressing separation anxiety is to help children understand that it’s okay to feel anxious. Karen Hawk Gilbert emphasizes the importance of normalizing the child’s emotions and letting them know that their feelings are valid. When children feel heard and understood, they are more likely to feel safe and supported.

Dr. Hawk suggests reassuring the child that it’s normal to feel nervous when separated from a parent, but that the parent will always return. Consistent reassurance, along with words of comfort, can help children feel secure in knowing that their caregiver’s absence is temporary. This reassurance should be given calmly and confidently, as children are sensitive to the emotions of their parents. The more a parent shows that they understand their child’s feelings and can handle the situation with calmness, the more the child will be able to regulate their emotions.

Gradual Separation and Building Confidence

Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert recommends a gradual approach to separation, which allows children to build confidence over time. Sudden or prolonged separations can overwhelm a child, so it’s important to take small, incremental steps that foster a sense of independence.

Parents can start by practicing short separations, such as leaving the child with a trusted family member or friend for brief periods. Each time the child experiences a brief separation and the parent returns, they learn that their caregiver will always come back. This repetition helps build trust and reduces the fear of abandonment. Over time, parents can increase the length of time spent apart, making the separation feel less daunting for the child.

Establishing Consistent Routines

Consistency and routine play a key role in helping children feel secure. Karen Hawk Gilbert suggests creating a predictable routine for departures, which can ease anxiety. A consistent goodbye ritual—such as a hug, a kiss, or a special phrase—can offer comfort and help children feel more in control of the situation.

Routines provide children with a sense of stability and predictability, which can reduce feelings of uncertainty. When children know what to expect, they are less likely to become anxious. Dr. Hawk also emphasizes the importance of maintaining a consistent routine at home, as this can provide children with a sense of normalcy even when they are in unfamiliar environments.

Encouraging Positive Distractions

One of the effective strategies Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert recommends is helping children focus on positive distractions during separation. When children are encouraged to engage in activities they enjoy, they are less likely to fixate on the separation itself. This can include playing with toys, reading a book, or participating in a fun activity with a caregiver or friend.

By shifting the child’s attention to something positive and enjoyable, the focus is taken away from the anxiety of separation. Dr. Hawk suggests that parents work with their children to identify activities that make them feel safe and happy, ensuring these activities are available during moments of separation.

Creating a Calm Environment for Transitions

Transitions, such as leaving for school or daycare, can be particularly difficult for children with separation anxiety. Karen Hawk Gilbert advises parents to create a calm and peaceful environment for these transitions. A rushed or chaotic goodbye can escalate a child’s anxiety, making the separation even more difficult.

Instead, Dr. Hawk encourages parents to create a calm and consistent environment by preparing for the transition ahead of time. This might involve allowing extra time for getting ready in the morning, giving the child a sense of control over the process, and calmly explaining what will happen next. Parents can also use deep breathing exercises to help both themselves and their children stay calm. A peaceful transition helps children feel more secure and confident as they face the separation.

Seeking Professional Help When Necessary

While many children experience mild separation anxiety that naturally improves over time, some children may have more intense or prolonged anxiety that interferes with their daily life. If a child’s separation anxiety persists or worsens despite consistent support and strategies, Dr Karen Hawk Psychologist Gilbert encourages parents to seek professional help. Therapy can provide children with additional tools to manage their anxiety, as well as offer parents strategies to support their child’s emotional well-being.

In some cases, therapy can help uncover deeper emotional issues that may be contributing to the child’s anxiety. Dr. Hawk’s child-focused therapy includes play therapy, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and other approaches that help children express and process their emotions in a healthy way. Therapy also helps parents gain a better understanding of their child’s behavior and learn how to create an emotionally supportive environment.

Conclusion

Separation anxiety in children can be a challenging experience for both the child and the parents, but it is possible to navigate this phase with patience, empathy, and the right strategies. Dr. Karen Hawk’s approach to managing separation anxiety focuses on normalizing emotions, building confidence through gradual separation, establishing consistent routines, and providing positive distractions. By taking these steps, parents can help their children develop emotional resilience and learn to manage anxiety in a healthy way.

If you’re struggling with separation anxiety in your child, Dr. Karen Hawk’s expert counseling services in Gilbert can provide the support and guidance you need to help your child feel secure and confident as they navigate transitions. Through compassionate therapy and practical strategies, you can create a nurturing environment where your child feels safe, understood, and empowered to overcome their anxiety.